


I Can't Do It

by sometimesiwritespn



Series: Ageplay/Involuntary Regression [7]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, Age Play, Age Play Caregiver Jared Padalecki, Age Play Caregiver Jensen Ackles, Age Play Caregiver Misha Collins, Age Regression/De-Aging, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Infantilism, Jared takes care of you, Non-Sexual Age Play, Non-Sexual Kink, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 12:33:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14332554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sometimesiwritespn/pseuds/sometimesiwritespn
Summary: (Y/N) works on the set of Supernatural and has been dating Jared for years. She regresses, and he knows about it, along with Jensen and Misha. Someone says something that embarrasses her about her regressions, so she decides she shouldn't regress anymore... which puts her in a very bad place.[Graphic depictions of self harm]





	I Can't Do It

**Author's Note:**

> Hey hey. So this is a little mean to Mark Pellegrino so I'm sorry in advance for that. This is triggering, with depictions of self harm, so be careful as you read it. This is my first time doing Supernatural RPF, so I hope it's a decent first try!
> 
> Angst is just my fave, so. Comments & kudos feed the muse. <3

(Y/N) had been working on the set of supernatural for years now. She was mostly lights, though sometimes she helped the sound techs, as well. She had been a huge fan of Supernatural since the beginning, and an even bigger fan of Jared, Jensen, and Misha. So, when she got the opportunity to be on the show, she had jumped for it. 

It was over a year into the job before (Y/N) spoke to any of the three of them. She was shy, especially around people like them, and working lights didn’t normally give her the opportunity to speak with them. However, a little over a year into working there, there had been a scene that called for special lighting - and therefore the boys had to move in special ways to follow it, or else it wouldn’t look as amazing as they were hoping. That was the first time (Y/N) spoke to them, directing them where they needed to go and when.

“How long have you been working on the show?” Jared had asked her at one point while they were paused, waiting for the director to call ‘action’ once more. When she had said a little over a year, Jared gaped. “And I haven’t met you yet?! Why didn’t you come introduce yourself?”

(Y/N) had stammered out something about not knowing if the cast talked to the crew, but they both knew that was bullshit. Everyone on set was a big family, but (Y/N) had mostly kept to herself. 

Little did she know, that one scene, and that one conversation, was going to change everything she thought she ever knew. Jared had invited her to get a drink with him after they finished filming, and soon enough, (Y/N) had gotten comfortable with him. They talked most of the night - and then Jared had asked her out on an official date. The next weeks were filled with plenty of dates, and (Y/N) became friends with many of the cast. She started hanging out with Jensen and Misha, and they soon became best friends as well. They were comfortable, and easy to be around – but neither of them got her heart racing like Jared did.

Their first kiss was something that still made her heart race just by thinking about it. It had been after one of their many dates. Jared had taken her home, but before she could go inside, he had placed his hand against the door, his arm over her shoulder, and kissed her. Jared had asked (Y/N) to officially be his girlfriend that night, but (Y/N) had declined, telling him there were too many things he didn’t know about her. Too many things that could make him not want to be with her anymore. 

(Y/N) was a ‘little.’ She had thought that perhaps she could just leave it be, force herself to not do it, but she just couldn’t. That was why she couldn’t in good conscience agree to be Jared’s girlfriend before he knew what he’d be getting himself into. But (Y/N) was terrified to tell him. She was afraid to lose him - but mostly afraid of what would happen if the cast found out. She didn’t want everyone to think she was crazy, or weird. 

One night, (Y/N) had sat Jared down in her apartment and told him that she regressed. She didn’t do it all the time, but she did whenever she needed to unwind. Jared had understandably never heard of it, so he asked many questions. At first, (Y/N)’s cheeks were burning a dark red as he kept asking questions about things she did. But he seemed genuinely curious in asking, and not asking to shame her, so eventually she got more comfortable talking about it.

It had taken Jared a few days to think it over. It wasn’t necessarily that he was thinking things over, per say, but he needed to think about what this would mean for their relationship. (Y/N) had been terrified, figuring it was going to be over. Jared no longer wanted to be with her – he thought she was weird, and she understood that. 

It was four days later (yes, she had been keeping track) that Jared came by her apartment, knocking on the door. (Y/N) had answered rather quickly, a smile blooming on her face when she sees Jared standing there with flowers in his hands. “Be my girlfriend?” He’d asked quietly, and this time, (Y/N) had agreed.

That had been over two years ago. She was still working on Supernatural, and things were going great with Jared. They had moved in together, and since they’d moved in together, there was hardly a day (Y/N) didn’t see Jensen or Misha. Jared, Jensen, and Misha hung out all the time, only now they had added her to the group. Jensen and Misha were both single, which (Y/N) didn’t understand, but they’d both said they were just too busy with Supernatural and other things right then to make a commitment to a relationship. 

Back when Jared and (Y/N) first started dating, he had told Jensen and Misha about her regressions. He knew all four of them were likely to be together a lot of the time, so he didn’t want (Y/N) to feel like she had to hide it from them. Both Jensen and Misha were supportive, and they had offered to take care of her if Jared was unable. 

Within time, a lot of the cast had found out. Some of them didn’t understand it, but they were mostly all supportive. None of them had anything to do with her care, but it was nice knowing everyone at least had an idea of what was going on in case she ended up regressing while she was on set. 

There was one person, however, who was not very supportive of it. He’d never said anything aloud, but it was just obvious he didn’t think they should be doing it. Mark Pellegrino had very conservative views, and overall, (Y/N) and him weren’t too fond of each other. But they mostly stayed away from each other, and everything was all well and good. (Y/N) knew he wasn’t a bad person, they just thought different ways, and that was okay. 

One day, (Y/N) hadn’t been needed on lights, but she’d gone to set to see the boys. A lot of the cast was there to shoot different scenes, so it was pretty chaotic. Jared was in the middle of a scene when Mark P. came behind her. (Y/N) hadn’t realized he was there, too engrossed in watching the love of her life do what he did best. 

She only turned around when Mark cleared his throat, raising her eyebrows when she saw it was him. “How much you want to bet he has a pacifier in his pocket right now?” He asks in a condescending tone, gesturing toward her boyfriend on camera. “Has he changed any good diapers lately?” 

(Y/N) hadn’t responded, and instead had just walked away. She tried not to let it get to her, but that had struck a nerve. Normally, when something upset her, she would use her regression as a coping skill. But this time… this time she knew she couldn’t do that. Every time she even thought about regressing she just heard that condescending voice in her head, and she would pull herself out of the regression faster than she’d even thought about it.

(Y/N) hadn’t regressed in over two weeks, and Jared was starting to get worried. He knew she used it to cope with stress, and she’d been having some stressful days on set lately. But she still wasn’t regressing, and Jared knew she wasn’t dealing with the stress in ways she should if she wasn’t regressing. He’d spoken to Jensen and Misha about it, which made both of them worried about her as well. 

“Sweetheart?” Jared asked softly that night when (Y/N) and him got home. He came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind. “Are you doing okay?” It was a vague question, but it was better than flat out asking why she wasn’t regressing like she normally did.

(Y/N)’s hands came to rest on Jared’s arms, leaning back into his chest. She closed her eyes when he asked the question, releasing a sigh. “Yeah, I’m fine, babe.” She says, trying for a reassuring smile; though she knew Jared wasn’t buying it. 

“I’ve been noticing you haven’t been regressing lately.” Jared was pretty much expecting it when (Y/N) tensed up in his arms, but he wondered what had happened to make her so tense about regressing. “I know that’s how you work through stress, so I just wanted to make sure everything’s okay.” 

“Everything’s fine.” (Y/N) says quietly, and Jared sighs, but he leaves it at that. He knew when she was ready to talk, she would come to him. He only hoped she would come to him before something bad happened. 

Jared, Jensen, and Misha all noticed that (Y/N)’s depression was worsening. She’d been diagnosed as clinically depressed long before she and Jared had started dating, but she was on medication and the regressions helped. Misha had first been the one to point out how she didn’t want to hang out with them as much anymore. Jensen mentioned how she didn’t smile as much anymore. Jared just tied it together by saying she was sleeping an awful lot. 

“What do we do?” Misha asks, his voice sad. He hated knowing (Y/N) was struggling and there wasn’t really anything he could do to help. Depression could be a bitch, and he knew they just had to be there for her – but he also knew it had to be because she wasn’t regressing. 

“Make her regress, I guess.” Jensen had answered, while Jared was staring into space. He was still trying to figure out what had happened to make her think she could no longer regress. Or what had happened to make her not want to regress anymore. “No, Misha, I don’t know how to make her regress. But it obviously needs to happen.” 

Misha ignores Jensen’s frustrated tone, knowing he wasn’t frustrated with him, but was frustrated with the situation. “I wonder if somebody said something to her a couple weeks ago,” he muses, “But I don’t know who would say anything that would make her so upset that she’d refuse to regress.” 

They’d left the conversation at that, not knowing what else to say. They all promised to watch her carefully, though, in case her depression started getting even worse than it was right now.

That had been two weeks ago, and (Y/N) was just struggling more and more. Jared kept trying to talk to her about it. He kept trying to get her to open up about it; but she refused, saying everything was fine, and he didn’t need to worry. Jared’s heart was breaking, because the love of his life was struggling with something so terribly, and she wouldn’t allow him to help her through it. She was suffering on her own, and Jared had always promised to help her, so she wouldn’t suffer by herself. Now he wasn’t making good on that promise. 

One day on set was the straw that broke the camel’s back. It was a harmless comment made by Jensen. It wasn’t rude, it wasn’t mean, and he didn’t mean it in a bad way. “You know, Jared misses taking care of you while you’re little.” It was actually a rather cute statement, but it had just pushed (Y/N) over the edge. 

Immediately her eyes filled with tears, and she mentioned something about a sick day before pushing past Jensen, gaze cast downward. “(Y/N)!” Jensen had called after her, watching as she practically ran to Jared’s trailer. “Ah, shit.” He mumbles, knowing he needs to find Jared, and he needs to find him fast. Who knew what she was planning on doing?

(Y/N) let herself in using the key Jared had given her, and she felt like her world was collapsing around her. Her depression had gotten so bad lately, but she’d been refusing to talk to Jared about it. She didn’t deserve to talk to him about it, anyway. She didn’t deserve to burden him with her depression when she’d already been burdening him with regressing for so long. God, she was a shitty girlfriend. 

It had been a long time since (Y/N) was desperate enough to harm herself. Years, actually. Jared had always helped her whenever she was having a bad night, and he always helped her find coping mechanisms that would work for her. She hadn’t had the need to self-harm… until now.

(Y/N) is frantically searching for something, anything, that she can use. She goes into the bathroom, coming upon her razor. Having done this before, she easily breaks the razor, managing to break off one of the blades and holding it in her hand. It was a tiny blade, but it would get the job done – especially since she had just replaced her razor a few days before, since the old one was dull.

She doesn’t even bother ripping her clothes off before she turns the shower on and sits herself down in the bottom of it. That way the blood would just be washed down the drain, and she wouldn’t have to worry about cleaning up the bathroom afterwards. (Y/N) pulls her sleeves up, and makes the first mark. At the first drop of blood, a sob of relief escapes, making her chest heave. (Y/N) leans herself against the wall of the shower, and once it rained, it poured. She started making marks all along her arm, close together. But when the pain got too bad on that arm, she moved to her other arm. 

Jared was talking to one of their directors, Robert Singer. They were discussing an upcoming scene, and his vision for it, but one look at Jensen told Jared he needed to get out of the conversation right away. “What is it?” He asked, shooting Robert an apologetic look.

“(Y/N). Something happened. She ran to your trailer, and she was crying, and I just…” Jensen didn’t have to finish his sentence before Jared was excusing himself from the conversation, booking it to his trailer. 

“No, no, no.” Jared mumbles to himself as he runs to the trailer. He knew of her history with harming herself. He’d seen all of the scars – in fact, he’d kissed them many times, and reassured her she was still beautiful to him. Jared should have seen this coming. He should have prevented it from happening. 

“(Y/N)?!” Jared calls frantically when he bursts into the trailer. There’s no response, but he can hear the shower running. “Shit!” He quickly runs into the bathroom, throwing back the shower curtain, feeling his heart breaking when he sees (Y/N) sitting there, blood dripping down her arms.

“Baby.” Jared breathes out quietly, his voice merely a whisper. She’s looking up at him with a terrified expression, clutching the little blade so hard in her hand he’s surprised she’s not drawing more blood as they sit there. Jared kneels outside of the bath tub after turning the water off, bringing his hand up to smooth back some of her hair. Jared’s hand goes from the side of her head to the back of it as he takes a deep breath, managing to pull himself together enough to send her a reassuring smile. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I just need you to give me the blade.” 

(Y/N) is terrified, and Jared knows she’s just terrified because she got caught. It was a hard realization, knowing if he hadn’t caught her, she wouldn’t have told him about it… but that’s a realization for a different time. “I can’t do it, Jared!” She pleads in a desperate tone, her eyes wide. “I can’t do it, I need to regress, I thought I could go without it, but I can’t, I have to regress—” 

Jared nods his head, knowing she’s only working herself up to a panic attack. “Shh. Look at me, sweetheart.” He waits until her gaze meets his, and he holds out his hand to her. “Give me what’s in your hand. I’ll get you cleaned up, and then you can be little for as long as you want, okay?” 

“I can’t, Jared!” She wails, her fist clutching the blade even tighter. Jared winces when he sees her knuckles turning white from her grip, slowly reaching out to take her hand. He doesn’t want to, but he starts his attempt to pry her fingers away from the blade. “I can’t regress! I’m a stupid baby, and you carry around pacifiers, and you change my diapers, and I can’t regress!” 

He doesn’t understand what the problem with him carrying around pacifiers is, nor the problem with him changing her diapers. (Y/N) had never had a problem before, so why now? He realizes Misha must be right, that someone must have said something to her. Jared was going to kill whoever it was. “Okay, okay.” He soothes, still prying her fingers from the razor blade clutched in her hand. “Okay, you don’t have to regress. I just need you to let go, so I can get you cleaned up, okay? I’m going to take care of you, I promise.”

“But I need to regress!” (Y/N)’s distress is causing his heart to clench, and he doesn’t know what to say. Jared would tell her anything right now, just to get her out of the shower and cleaned up, and then he could deal with the regression thing.

Jared’s silent for a moment, trying to think of what to say. “I love you.” He says quietly, tipping her chin up so she’s looking at him again. With his free hand, he’s still prying her fingers, but his intense gaze is focused solely on her. “I love you, so much. You mean the world to me. You are so gorgeous, and stunning, and funny, and kind. Everyone on set loves you. Jensen and Misha love you. Sometimes I think Misha tries to love you more than me.” He’s teasing on the last one, but (Y/N) and Misha had been getting extremely close. “I love you, I love you, I love you…”

On the last one, (Y/N)’s hand relaxes enough that he can quickly open her hand and grab the blade, still covered in her blood. He throws it behind him on the floor, knowing it would be easy enough to find later. “There you go. You’re such a good girl. You’re my good girl, right? You’re mine?” 

(Y/N)’s gaze is wide and vulnerable as she nods at Jared’s words desperately. “I’m yours, I’m your good girl, I’m your good girl…” She doesn’t feel like a good girl. If she was a good girl, she would have been strong enough to handle this on her own. She would have been able to handle this without hurting herself. 

“Oh my god.” There’s suddenly a new voice, and (Y/N) curls in on herself, not wanting anyone to see her like this. Jared turns around to see both Jensen and Misha standing there, their eyes wide and sad. He didn’t know how long the two had been standing there, but obviously long enough to figure out what was going on. 

“It’s okay!” Jared says quickly. “Right, guys?” He asks, hoping that they’ll catch on. He knows they’re both worried about her, but acting like this was the end of the world was only going to hurt her right then. She was already freaked out enough. 

Jensen is the first one to speak, taking a step forward, while Misha still stands there and stares. “Yeah! Yeah, it’s okay. No one’s upset.” He nudges Misha, knowing he either needed to get his act together, or get out of there. “No one’s upset with you, sweetheart. We all just want to help you.” 

Jared sends Jensen a small smile as Jensen kneels next to him, reaching out to place his hand on her shoulder. He knows Misha should be doing this, because Misha is her best friend, but he was still too struck with horror. Seeing one of his best friends in drenched clothing, covered in blood, is an image he’s never going to get out of his mind. 

Misha takes a deep breath, swallowing hard. He needs to help the boys out with this, he knows that – but he especially needs to help (Y/N). Misha steps forward, waiting for Jensen to move. Once he does, Misha places his hand on the back of her neck, caressing her neck gently. “(Y/N), honey?” He asks, waiting until she sniffles as her response. “Can you please show me your arms, so we can get you cleaned up?” His voice is as sweet as sugar, hoping to persuade her. 

(Y/N) slowly peeks out from where she’d hidden her face, sniffling again. “Mad at me.” She whispers quietly, all of them noticing that she’s already starting to slip into her little voice, even if she wasn’t starting to regress yet.

“No one’s mad at you.” Misha says soothingly, flashing her a smile. “We all just want to help you, sweetheart. Please let us do that?” 

There’s a pause before (Y/N) finally nods, slowly uncurling from her fetal position on the bath tub floor. She looks the other way when she reaches her arms out, but Jared doesn’t do that yet. Instead, he reaches in the bath tub and scoops her out, placing her down on the toilet and wrapping a towel snugly around her. 

“You’re such a good girl.” Jared coos soothingly, leaning forward to kiss her forehead. “I love you, so much. You mean everything to me, you know that?” He pauses, catching her gaze. “Can I have a kiss?” 

They can see she’s in a weird state of not being regressed but starting to slip. She’s in the middle, which is why he asks for permission to kiss her. (Y/N) nods, tilting her head up a little bit, and Jared captures her lips with his, hoping she can feel the love he’s attempting to convey to her through it. 

Misha and Jensen start to talk to (Y/N) in soothing tones while Jared starts to get her cleaned up. It’s a slow, methodical process, but he wants to ensure he gets all of the cuts cleaned so none of them get infected. Once that part’s done, Jared grabs some gauze and bandages, wrapping her arms up.

(Y/N) goes to pull her arms away once they’re wrapped up, but Jared’s grip on her wrist is insistent. She looks down where he’s kneeling, breath catching in her throat when he starts to kiss up her arm. He kisses all the way up one arm, then down the other, all the while murmuring comments of how beautiful she is, and how much he loves her. Jensen and Misha look away, not wanting to interrupt this sacred moment between the two of them. 

Jared wants to just get (Y/N) into a diaper and onesie right now, but he knows she’s going to refuse. So, instead, he grabs a new t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants for her, asking the guys to leave for a moment so he can help her get changed. Her drenched clothes had to be getting uncomfortable. 

Once (Y/N) is all dried off and changed, Jared helps her to the living room. He sits down on the couch, and (Y/N) doesn’t waste any time in climbing on his lap and pressing her face into the side of his neck. Jared’s arms loop around her, holding her snugly against his chest. 

“(Y/N), we were talking a couple weeks ago about what’s been going on with your regressions.” Misha starts quietly. “I mentioned that I wondered if someone had said something to you. Did someone say something that embarrassed you, or made you think you shouldn’t regress anymore?” 

(Y/N) whimpers quietly, pressing her nose even closer to Jared’s neck, and he shushes her gently. They’re silent for a moment before she finally nods. “He was filming.” She whispers, obviously talking about Jared. “Came up to me and asked if he was carrying a pacifier in his pocket… asked if he’d changed any good diapers lately. Mean tone.” 

Jared sighs quietly, his eyes falling shut. He wanted to murder whoever it was that had hurt her this badly. Maybe they hadn’t meant to go as far as to make her hurt herself, but they’d made sure she wouldn’t want to regress again… which was what led to this entire situation. “Who was it, honey?” He asks quietly, but (Y/N) just shakes her head. 

They’d figured she wasn’t going to tell them who it was, but they’d been hoping. As it was, they were going to have to figure it out on her own. If someone on set had said it to her, there was no way she’d be comfortable at work anymore, unless the situation got handled. 

“Can’t do it. I’m a stupid baby. You guys are forced to take care of me, and I’m sure it makes you hate me, and I’m stupid. I’m a bad girlfriend, I’m not strong enough, I’m stupid because I want to act like a baby—” 

Jared shakes his head, squeezing her gently in an attempt to stop her in her tracks. He knew if she kept going, she would just keep calling herself stupid. The more she called herself stupid, the more she would believe it… and Jared didn’t want that. “You’re not stupid, sweetheart.” He says reproachfully, a hand coming up to stroke his fingers through her hair. “You’re an amazing girlfriend. We all love taking care of you, and you’re so strong. You’re the strongest person I know.” 

“Yeah, (Y/N). We all like taking care of you. Earlier when I said Jared missed taking care of you, I wasn’t lying. Misha and I miss taking care of you, too. I know someone said something to upset you, but they were just being a jerk. Regressing doesn’t make you stupid, or weak. Jared’s right when he says you’re strong.” Jensen’s voice makes (Y/N) peek out for a second, before she’s sniffling and hiding her face back in Jared’s neck. 

Misha’s the next to speak up. “You know, when you regress, you and I are best friends. We get in trouble all the time together. I sneak you candy, Jared gets mad at me… but he can’t stay mad for long, because he sees how happy you are, and then he just melts into a puddle.” He grins. “We love having big you around, but we also love having little you around. We don’t want to see her go away forever.” 

“I love you no matter what, princess.” Jared says softly, his voice soothing right next to her ear. “If you want to be big, that’s fine. But I don’t want to see you doing it because you think you should. I know being little is how you relieve stress, and I want you to relieve stress. So, if you want to be big, I’ll support that… but if you want to be little, I’ll support that too.” Jared knows she would never choose to just be big all the time, but he does want her to feel like she has options, and not that they’re forcing her to be little. 

Everything is silent for a good five minutes. (Y/N) doesn’t respond. None of them say anything else. There’s nothing else to say. 

When (Y/N) lifts her head, Jared can see she’s gone. She’s regressed, and she’s only lifting her head so she can place her thumb in her mouth. A smile forms on his face as he kisses her on the forehead. “There’s my sweet girl.” He says softly.

Normally, Jared would be admonishing her for having her thumb in her mouth. After all, that was what pacifiers were for. But after so long of her refusing to regress, and so long of her being so unhappy, Jared is willing to let her do pretty much whatever she wants. 

It was like a weight had been lifted off of (Y/N)’s shoulders the second she regressed. She didn’t remember anything that had happened, though she was confused as to why her arms hurt, but she started to smile as soon as Jared started to coo to her. 

Upon seeing Jensen and Misha, (Y/N) hides her face in Jared’s neck shyly. This causes him to laugh, because she loves Jensen and Misha, and is normally never shy around them. Misha approaches them as Jared stands up, and he’s grinning. “Is someone acting shy today?!” He asks in a happy tone of voice, starting to tickle her side, the only part vulnerable from how Jared is holding her.

Immediately, (Y/N) starts to giggle and squirms in Jared’s arms, forcing him to shift how he’s holding her. “Hold your horses, I don’t want to drop her!” He says with a grin to Misha, and Misha stops tickling her a moment later. 

“We missed you, (Y/N).” Jensen speaks honestly, and Misha nods his head in agreement. They know it’s best for them to leave Jared and (Y/N) alone for the night. It was an unspoken assumption that she was going to be regressed for quite a while, from how long she’d been fighting it. Jensen and Misha would have plenty of time to take care of her later. 

One by one, they both approach her and kiss her on the forehead. Misha rubs his nose against hers, which causes her to giggle. “Look what I have!” Misha says, pulling a pacifier out of his pocket. He didn’t normally carry one with him, but after hearing something was going on with her, he figured he should grab one just in case. Misha brushes it against her lips, so she willingly drops her thumb and takes the pacifier in. Once she’s sucking on the pacifier, Misha kisses the pacifier, and she grins happily. 

“We’ll see you tomorrow, okay man?” Jensen says, clapping Jared on the shoulder. “But Misha and I are going to be staying in our trailers tonight, so if you need anything, we’re literally like ten feet away.” He grins. “Just let us know.” 

Jared nods his head. “Thanks for everything, guys.” He kisses the top of (Y/N)’s head, and she looks up at him sleepily. She didn’t know why she was so tired, but Jared knew. It had been a tough, traumatizing day. Anyone would be exhausted after that. 

Misha and Jensen exit the trailer, and Jared brings (Y/N) to the bedroom part of the trailer. He grabs a diaper and one of her onesies, humming softly while he gets her changed. He was exhausted as well. He hadn’t had nearly as rough of a month as (Y/N) had, but he’d still been struggling since he was so worried about her. And after a day like today, he was tired as well. It had been terrible finding her like that. 

Jared only realizes he’s on autopilot when (Y/N) starts to whine and reaches up to tug on his hair. He looks down, realizing during his zoning out, he’d managed to get her changed, make her a bottle, and sit down in a chair and start to feed her. (Y/N) was whining because he wasn’t paying attention to her, which made him chuckle. “I’m sorry, honey.” He says gently, looking down at her.

Satisfied that he’s paying attention now, (Y/N) starts to eat happily, looking up at him with wide eyes. Her arms still hurt, but she wasn’t paying attention to it. She was just paying attention to the man who was staring down at her, cooing soothing words to her every few seconds. 

(Y/N) was so tired that she started to drift halfway through the bottle. Jared was also that tired, and he had started to drift as well. He only realized it when his chin hit his chest, and he realized he’d nodded off. Jared quickly lifts his head, stretching a little bit, only to see that she was fast asleep with the bottle still in her mouth. 

Jared smiles at the adorableness of it all, before taking the bottle. In her sleep she starts to whine, and he shushes her, brushing the pacifier against her lips. Instinctively, she opens her mouth, so Jared slips it in and (Y/N) starts to suck on it contently. 

They stay in the chair for a few moments more before Jared gets the strength to scoop her up in his arms. He brings them both over to the bed, pulling back the covers, then depositing (Y/N) into the bed. She looks like an angel, all curled up with her hair falling over her face. She looks so innocent, and Jared just wants to protect her from everything mean and bad in this world. Wants to protect her from all the nasty people who say things that hurt her. Wants to protect her from her mind spitting lies at her all day. 

Slipping his shirt and pants off, leaving him in a pair of boxers, Jared then climbs into bed next to (Y/N). He pulls the covers up around them, kissing her forehead gently. Jared uses gentle fingers to tuck her hair back behind her ear so it’s not in her face, then wraps his arms around her and pulls her into his chest. 

(Y/N) snuggles up to him, one arm slinging around his waist as she sucks on her pacifier. She’d half woken up when he climbed into the bed, but within seconds, both of them are fast asleep.


End file.
